We’ve found the best way to keep getting laid is to get creative about sex. One night stands are cool, but we’re going to be honest and say you really get the same type of girl. Usually it happens at a party or a club where alcohol is involved. Banging chicks is the bottom line, which is awesome but there are other types of girls you can have flings with, that are not your typical party girls. For example, phone sex is great, but what about sexy chatting? Take it a step further. You know the type – the librarian in a tight-fitting sweater, looking prim and proper? She’s a freak on the DL, but it’s going to take a little work. We’ve found that girls who like books also like a little creativity in the bedroom and they’re not shy about hooking up if they like you enough. Here’s our guide to writing basic erotica to get your girl into bed for real.

How to Get Her to Read It

Half the battle of using this tactic is setting up a situation where she’ll actually be receptive. Start out by telling her that you’re a hobbyist writer, and engage her on the topic of literature. Go to SparkNotes if you have to and brush up on some popular classics you probably read in high school. Shakespeare is always a failsafe. Once you’ve got her talking, tell her that you’d love some feedback on your work, and would she mind taking a look. Throw in that it’s sexual, but say it with a straight face, and she’ll probably say yes.

The Basics of How to Write Erotica

Now you actually have to write something. Believe us, it’s way easier than you’d think if you have the right guide. Good thing we’re here to help you out! You don’t really need more than 500-1,000 words, or in other words, just about two pages. Split it into four paragraphs and start with a context, like who the characters are and the setting. Make it simple and give them names. In the second paragraph, set up some sexual tension, and describe why one person is attracted to the other. In the third paragraph, change scene and get onto the sexy times, and then close it with the end of the encounter in the fourth paragraph. It doesn’t even have to be good, but make sure everything is spelled right. The whole point here is that she’s critiquing your fiction, so the worse it is, the sorrier she’s going to feel for you. The key is to maintain your sincerity, or at least an illusion of it.

Taking it to the Next Level

Once you compose your masterpiece, go for some banter. Take her suggestions and use them as conversation starters. Once you’ve got her talking about her favorite subject, it can be easy to slip in how you were thinking about her when you wrote it. The important point here though is that you can’t come off as creepy. You have to say it in a way that’s appropriately flirtatious and charming, not like a serial killer who’s also been collecting her hair. Make it sexy and say something about how you have been seduced by her brain. Tell her you want to make it a reality, and let the epilogue write itself.